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The Confidence Battle

By Silhouettes · September 27, 2011 · 0 Comments ·

Since becoming a plus size fashion blogger, I've been asked many questions about my “confidence” and how I have so much of it. But really, it does not take much confidence to put on a goofy outfit, have a photo taken of you and post it onto the internet. You're still terrified of negative feedback, and basking in fleeting positive comments.

To be honest, having confidence is a struggle for everyone. It doesn't matter if they are thin, smart, rich, famous, or the most gorgeous human on the planet. We are all told that at least one of our qualities is “wrong” or “not good enough”. Some of us are fatter, some of us have disabilities, we're gay, we're too smart, we're not the characters we see on T.V.

But when you are bombarded with ideas that you aren't good enough to obtain the things or people you want in life, it's easy to try and shrink into the background to avoid getting hurt.

So I want to take my last article for the Silhouettes blog as an opportunity to say that every single one of us is beautiful and no matter what body we have, we are valuable people with so much to contribute to the world. Whether you're a college grad who is trying to figure out how to make food that isn't ramen, or a mother of 3 who is responsible for so many lives other than her own I want you to recognize your own worth and celebrate yourself.

The marketing world is run on the basic idea that if they make you feel bad enough you'll go out and buy the products that will make you someone you aren't. Lotions and perfumes are supposed to make you irresistible and smooth, while high end clothing will inform the world of your successes, which may or may not be real.

None of this matter though, if you know that no matter what, you are exactly who you are supposed to be. I know that my confidence is usually at it's weakest when it comes to the opposite sex. Rejection and embarrassment are my two greatest fears, and when the media constantly tells us that fat women are not to be loved, it can be easy to avoid romance, or even worse, settle for someone who isn't good enough for us. But what is the worst that can happen? Someone says no? We must learn to be O.K. with that word. Because once we can accept that life is full of NO, we will be all the more appreciative of YES. And we must, as FAT women, stop assuming that no will happen. If we tell ourselves no, how can anyone say otherwise?

So, just remember, confidence is a battle, but it is worth fighting and if you want it, you can win it. Fight it for yourself and everyone around you who may be struggling.

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Amalia Nicholson is a plus-size blogger, fashion enthusiast and advocate of beauty at every size. She currently resides in Minneapolis, Minnesota where runs her personal style blog, Double Vision.

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